Switzerland forum: Why is it so hard to make friends in Switzerland??
Posted in the Switzerland forum
-
Agostino Moretti
26 Sep 2008, 09:04Why is it so hard to make friends in Switzerland??Is it just me or is it really hard to find some people in Switzerland who are willing to make good friends with you (especially to foreigners)??
I've been there for only 6 months and I heard you need at least 3 months to completely settle down there so maybe I've been there just too short...what do you think? -
Liliane M
27 Sep 2008, 14:41Hi Agostini! I heard the same story from many foreigners in Switzerland, so you're not alone ;o). Give it some time and some patience. The Swiss are not exactly open-minded when it comes to meeting new people, but ones you do get to know them you can makes friends for a lifetime!
-
hmm.... its the second time for me in switzerland and I'm not having a lot of problems in that area, I mean its not cuba or mexico but its not such a great problem
Be nice and patient -
Agostino Moretti
22 Oct 2008, 11:34
Yes, maybe it's only a stupid prejudice, but you hear more negative things about the people from Switzerland than from any other European country! I wonder why it's like that...
-
Youre sure about that ????
Last edited 24 Oct 2008, 17:11
I mean , normally germany leads such rankings But Maybe not so many peoples visit germany and want to live there... not that I can understand this... but ... semms to be a little strange -
Agostino Moretti
27 Oct 2008, 12:02
Hi Matthias!
Besides my personal experience, it's just what you hear all over the world! I don't know why Switzerland (and Germany too, you're right have a quite "bad reputation", with being described as cold and unfriendly and everything. It's a shame, as I think that most people who say such things, haven't ever been to these countries... -
Hi i am deb well i lived and am comeing back to lenzerheide in December i was there for 15 months and only a few friends it is hard I have been in veiatnam hcm for nine months and now coming home and i am Determind to make friends I hope by meeting one friend that will leed to meny more becouse it can get very lonly out there i am on my own most of the time so to have some friends this time would be great.How about you perhaps we can keep in touch.
debs
-
I agree with Agostino. Swiss people are known to be un-friendly and cold. I think it is because they are not open-minded and they dont like change so they have a hard time dealing with foreigners in their country.
A simple greeting can go a long way, many swiss refuse to do this. I have experience in my short stay here, that when you greet people they watch you like shit. In my country greetings are normal. -
Deleted user
25 Nov 2008, 14:03Hi everyone,
I'm relatively new to the site so be gentle. I havent' officially moved to Switzerland yet, but will be by the beginning of next year. I'd really like to make some friends before I arrive to hopefully make the scary transition easier....*eek. I really hope the people of Basel give me a chance to intergrate, but from all your emails, I could run into a few problems. I also don't speak a word of German... double trouble.
Surely there are some groups I could join to make making friends less difficult, like skiing groups or knittings classes..? I really don't want to resort to tapping random people on the shoulder asking them to be my friend. Although I will if push comes to shove. -
Vanessa, I don't think you have to worry, if you are willing to give it time and to learn German. But be aware that we speak Swiss German in Switzerland which is considerably different from the German spoken in Germany. Why is the language so important? Let's face it. Whoever comes to the UK without being able to speak English will have a lot more difficulties to make friends than someone who speaks your language.
Swiss tend to be much more reserved than many other Europeans. This very often comes across as cold or unfriendly. However, I think it has more to do with modesty and a big need for privacy. You do not want to stick out of the crowd in Switzerland. If you do, there must be something suspicious about you. Hence, people rather hold back. They might first observe you a bit, before they start a conversation. If people feel inferior, they might less likely talk to you. This is a strong generalization, of course. At the same time Swiss also don't want to show their weaknesses. Hence, if a Swiss does not speak English well (and many Swiss believe they don't), they will be much more reluctant to talk to you.
One way to get to know Swiss is to get active in your community, in an association, sports club or whatever interests you. Getting to know people at work is more difficult, as Swiss tend to separate work from their private lives quite a bit (again, this is often true, but not always). However, for all these activities, you need to know German. Hence, get started now to learn German.
It takes a lot of time and energy to get to know Swiss. But once you do, you can make great friendships that can last for a lifetime. Once a Swiss opens up to you, it is because the trust you and they like you. That might perhaps be a lot different from what you are used to.
-
Pauline Pham
05 Dec 2008, 13:03Genau (exactly) Claudio!!! I've been here since August and can validate what you say. My partner is Swissie and I know from him that lifelong friends are the most important to him (ie.school friends, uni friends, friends he's known for 10years) and there is not much room for "new" friends. I've got instant access to his network of friends and I can tell you that once they like you and trust you, they are very sincere and generous and will stand by you. We lived in Australia for a couple of years (ok, I lived there my whole life, but with him a couple of years) and he made friends but the level of friendship was not so deep and when he went through a tough period, not all those friends could be relied upon, and that I think is the difference between people who tell you you're their "mate" (friend) instantly (very Australian!) vs people who are slow to befriend but then are a true friend. So good friendships take time to develop. It is probably faster to make friends from the expat community though, but don't give up on the Swissies! :-)
PS. Loud, obnoxious, self-promoting people will have less chance of making friends with Swiss who tend to be conservative and possess much humility. -
Agostino Moretti
10 Dec 2008, 10:22
Hey guys!
Now as I read your replies, it seems to me like all my friends who told me about their more or less bad experience in Switzerland was just because they stayed there too shortly (maybe). Or it was their Italian temper scaring them all off in the first placeRegards
-
ciao agostino io sono in svizzera da un mese e mezzo e mi trovo in svizzera tedesca con molte piu difficolta di te non penso sia cosi 'difficile fare amicizia io sto cercando un lavoro qui ,è ho pure la difficolta della lingua cmq non abbaterti troverai qualcuno sicuramente come ho fatto io ( e poi tu sei molto piu' giovane di me)ciao
-
So you are happy living there?
-
Roxanne Bebawi
01 Mar 2009, 12:50Post was deleted by Roxanne Bebawi.
-
Mansal D
01 Mar 2009, 22:29Depends where you live, but it would benefit you to learn one of the major languages (German, Italian, French). Picking up bits of the other ones shouldn't hurt either.
Mein Deutsch ist nicht so gut, aber ich versuche ;-)
Tschüss, Mansal
-
Roxanne Bebawi
02 Mar 2009, 22:07
Thanks for replying! I live in Prangins near Nyon, and am often in Geneva..I am sure with effort and time things will get better. I already know french, and have noticed that German would surely come in handy. Thank you.
-
Mansal D
09 Mar 2009, 14:48
Well they aren't all unwelcoming (if what you say is true) because your husband has married you and (I presume) loves you very much!
Just keep trying - if one person does not wish to speak to you much, then don't. Move on to another reasonable person. There are millions, you know? ;-)
-
Linda .
29 May 2009, 07:20Hello Everybody,
I am living in Geneva for more than 1 year and looking for new friends. I have just found this topic and I'm very happy to see these many members!
I am working in the legal area and learning French…but it is not an easy language, so I would prefer English first.
I am opened to speak about almost everything, to discuss our experiences, the good shopping places :-) and to have a coffee or tea sometimes.
Thanks, Linda -
when i arrived here for 3 months i cried everyday. i had no friends, no language, no internet at home!!! i was homestayin with and 80 years old lady, we couldnt understand each other, evrything was terrible.
but with the time, at language school, i made some friends. but still i have problems, cause all of my friends from german speaking part of switzerland, and they are comint to lausanne for just couple of months, then they leave. so all of my friends are temporary. i am the only one who stays! its terrible!
its so obvious that swiss people are not easy to be friens. but indeed, after spending so much time with them, they are as friendly as the other countries citizens. its just you need some time, they dont get used to people quickly.
in general i can say that they never refuse you invite them drink couple of beers, or going lakeside all together, try it! that kind of cosy places makes you easily communicate.
Matthias Nadler-Schulz
debbie gwalter
Claudio Enggist
ekin senturk