Back to China forum

Are Chineses guys uptight or just shy?

Posted in China forum

A friend there told me that they are really not seductive guys and that they are not comfortable when they talk to woman... Why?

Go to Deleted user's profile

  • Daniel Otero

    posted by  in China forum 

    Not only humility or modesty. China has suffered an historical isolation that has affected its inhabitants. WMD came from a man that was stupid and didn't think, his name is George Bush. But for myself I live in China and see it everyday the changes happening to this place. Before we speak, we must also live the experience and be amongst Chinese everyday. Don't you think you so?

    By the way, a society that refuses to open up or because of closer due to its leadership will suffer also in backwardness and inadequacy. Learning the history of China is also one of my hobbies.

    Have a wonderful day! Take care.

    Daniel
    Shaoxing, China

  • Go to evil less's profile

    posted by  in China forum 

    Humility is very common in China, it's not shyness, modesty give people more space and more time to think, b4 u jump to that decision "u've got mass destruction weapons"

  • Daniel Otero

    posted by  in China forum 

    Shyness has ocurred in China due to the influence in parents, lack of role models and historical isolation.

    However, when you speak with men over 30, they usually are more sexy and self-confident. This comes with experience and exposure to the world.

    China will get there if it continues to open to other peoples and cultures across the world...

    Take care,

    Daniel

  • Jo-Ann Zhang

    posted by  in China forum 

    Hi Guys!

    I am married to a Chinese and i'm glad my husband isn't a shy type of person. One thing maybe is he speaks very good English. He is very open-minded and can embrace different culture. Honestly, he was discussing to me that once his friends learn that he's accepting different cultures it's kind of weird and shame! They will think 'Oh u just left China, u have changed'!

    I can say, He is still very Chinese, i mean he has his values which is ok with me. but he is always neutral. He can speak with his mind and i discuss with him. He's open with arguments. I think Chinese men are born to be shy because of what they inherited from their parents. Chinese are known to be very conservative, shy and preserved.

    Also when they are with foreigners, they have a language barrier which makes them feel intimidated and quiet. But young people nowadays are changing. My husband's friends are very well socialized (in their hometown in China). It still depends on their personalities. Some are open, some are not.

  • Daniel Otero

    posted by  in China forum 

    Bien dicho... Traditional communities that come from countries that do not allow them social exposure will suffer. You can see the problem not only in Chinese, but also people that comes from certain Middle Eastern countries. When they arrive in Europe or America, they feel awkwardly out of place. And with all the freedoms and liberties that our respective countries may offer, if they don't go outside of their communities and interact, they will be marginalized.

    For this simple reason, we have today the explosion of problems within the Muslim communities. A community needs to interact with the outside world, if not, it will never be accepted locally...

    Sinceramente,

    Daniel

  • posted by  in China forum 

    I agree with you, the social inadequacy of Chinese abroad is sometime a problem. As they stay in community, they don't meet other people. So as they don't know other people, they feel agressed by their lifestyle...
    And that can lead to some dangerous reaction of hate against the local...

    I thing big communities like that are not good, it should be better if they were more open to the others... But that is not just about Chinese, it's about all big communities abroad, especially the more traditionalist ones...

  • Daniel Otero

    posted by  in China forum 

    I will check your contributions and I thank you ahead...

    Sincerely,

    Daniel

  • Go to boh tuan's profile

    posted by  in China forum 

    If you travel to Hainan, and wish to experience, what I have experienced, you must be bold to drink or eat at local level coffee shops (usually crowded). Ask if you can share their table, if they welcomed you, then tell them where you come from. After you finished your say, start to ask them where they stay, in this town or village nearby, if they do not volunteer to tell you. Generally they will be proud tell you. But as I always say, there are exceptions.

    See my contributions in Hainan Forum; Hainan Travel Community Reviews, Forum , Tips, Album. -- "off the beaten track to Dongjiao coconut estate in Hainan"

  • Daniel Otero

    posted by  in China forum 

    As far as travel, I hope Hainan for next summer. I want to try the experience you have mentioned before. Sounds lovely!

    As far as the experience, I would like to see the interaction of Chinese in Australia. I have never been there, or to Indonesia or beautiful Singapore for that matter. But if I go, I hope that they have the same confidence you have demonstrated. The mainland government should use these examples and take young-successful Chinese and bring them from different corners of Asia to help in the new education and openness process.

    Please take care.

    Sincerely,

    Daniel

  • Go to boh tuan's profile

    posted by  in China forum 

    Hi Daniel Otero,

    I think you are on the right track to say Hainanese population are more exposed to the outside world. Its proximity to Hongkong makes it easier for Hongkong tourists to visit Hainan.
    Also Sanya is a popular tourist resort. Most tourists come by air touched down at Meilan Airport near Haikou, and not direct to Sanya. Hence tourists will stay in Haikou (capital of Hainan) for few days and travel by coach to Sanya. The coach will stop along the way to have meals. So the local will have a glimse of how foreigners behave and interact.

    But I think most of the substantial exposure comes about through interaction with their relatives and friends who have emigrated decades ago to Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia, and a sprinkle to America, and Australia, who now return to visit Hainan, and in most cases their former villages, if they still have relatives there.

    Human being is such a creature that they crave to experience something extraordinary or something rare -- only for a short time. So many stay overnight in the village houses of relatives.That is where the interaction and exposure takes place.

    If you take an imaginery string and join it from Haikou to Sanya, you will be surprised, to discover that the villages and towns East of the string has someone who have emigrated to the countries I mentioned above.

    Many of the rich from the northern provinces of mainland China flock to Sanya during the winter cold months to escape the cold. Hope you can join them one day too.

    Meanwhile enjoy Shaoxing -- small is beautiful!

Post a reply