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Are Chineses guys uptight or just shy?

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A friend there told me that they are really not seductive guys and that they are not comfortable when they talk to woman... Why?

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  • Daniel Otero

    posted by  in China forum 

    I understand about the blocks and I emphatize with you. China can do it, I mean get freedom but it has to go slowly. If not, it will be a disaster and another Civil War. For this reason, changes should start with the government and education, then they will impact the people.

    Please don't missunderstand me. I am with you and I agree. China should be a freer society, but slowly and without violence.

    And sir, I have protected my freedom and I did serve for others to have their freedom. And by going through a war I understood that peace is the onliy way.

    I don't want a fight with China, I want peace between our nations, exchange of ideas and freedom.

    Please take care,

    Sincerely,

    Daniel
    Shaoxing, Zhejiang, China
    P.S. I do live in China now, but I am American born and I don't agree with the Chinese system, but changes start with us. We lead by example, you will soon learn this in the military.

  • Daniel Otero

    Dear Gao:

    posted by  Daniel Otero in China forum 

    Remember, the world is built on communication skills. To have them will build millions of success stories across China. You get people that are shy, but that is everywhere. Now, if you get somebody that treats you like you are retarded, honestly, that person is just simply obtuse and stupid.

    Chinese are a great society and culture. What is affecting right now China is the government and education to be honest. Telling a youngster in their teens that they are too young for anything affects the mind. I was already having girlfriends in my teens. And also, learn to talk to people when I was young built my confidence. This same practice should be done in China. Chinese don't have to stop being Chinese, just correct the mistakes of the past and make it better for the future. Happiness will come easier when a society communicates feelings.

    All relationships are based on 40% sexual and 60% communication. So, we still depend on communication to survive all over the world. It's a matter of changing the old traditions and openning the mouth a little more for a better world, country and society.

    Take care,

    Sincerely,

    Daniel

  • Daniel Otero

    posted by  in China forum 

    Let's be fair. Remember, the difficult history that transpired in your country (China) during the 20th Century. I am a Cold War veteran and I saw action in places like Angola, Croatia and the Middle East.

    The failures of Russia, China should not repeat them. Therefore, liberty should come slowly, if not pandemoneon will arise. I agree that China should be more liberalized and at the same time, China cannot undo the past 60 years which in reality destroyed the past generation mentally. So my friend, the struggle should be to go forward and now China learn from its past mistakes and become a better country. Also, learn from the world and China can become like any other country in Europe or the Americas. It's just a matter of time and the Chinese government not closing up again and this will certainly take time.

    Take care,

    A friend,

    Daniel

  • Ziyao Gao

    posted by  in China forum 

    you are absolutely right.
    Be patient and listening is always good for any communication between different cultures.
    Of course people get different ideas when they firstly contact with chinese people, even ourself doubted some time there can be some problems with ourselves. You know, if only you listen to the radio or watch the TV, you just get some negative feelling, that is called first impression in your mind which can be very solid.
    But personlly, i feel we are just different. you know, culture difference, simplely so.
    You see, Chinese prefer always behaving in silence. If you really see how do most chinese date, if you see how do my parents met, then you may understand the silent way by which people build a relationship.
    that's why each Chinese get some communication problems when they just went abroad, me also! Now no one think i am "shy", "retarded" or so XD. But at first beginning they did think i am stranger guy... What did i learnt? Just another way to express what in my mind which i always had, which i just did not tell out. The rest, nothing really changed.

  • Ziyao Gao

    posted by  in China forum 

    i thank you for thinking in that way...wordless
    so what you are gonna do? Be the Spartacus and lead an uprising to liberate us?

  • Daniel Otero

    posted by  in China forum 

    Over all, you have to be the teacher. With female or male... But for females it is worse, yes.

    Good luck,

    Take care,

    Daniel

  • posted by  in China forum 

    Thanks all for your answer I guess I understand better Chinese men now! :) So you think it's mainly a question of generation and of access to informations and other culture? If we want to really get to know a Chinese, it's better to be patient and to really show him that we are listening and interested to him? Isn't it just finally a self-confidence problem?
    And do you think it's the same for the Chinese girls? Because I think for her it's even worse than for men. Abroad they seems really discrete and when you talk to them, they answer with such a little voice it's kind of really weird! It's like if they wanted to be invisible...And it seems that in cities with big Chinese community they are even more shy!
    Take care!

  • Ziyao Gao

    posted by  in China forum 

    Well said,kids like your son will be the hope of us ;)

  • Ziyao Gao

    posted by  in China forum 

    Daniel, I believe a lot of suggestions from you are really gold! I am impressed about your ideas.
    Another reason for "shy chinese" is you normally find, the very open guy in Chinese community could turn into a "shy chinese" in a foreign culture. That doesnt mean he dont know how to communicate withthe other humanbeing on the earth, just mean he has no experience to handle the comunication betwenn different cultures. That takes some time.
    But education i believe, as you said "implement the system and write back into education", has a higher aim and hope.
    Thank you for telling me that i have a open mind. I also hope it will work somehow, but in most time, all over the world, who really care? People care only when it does go against their profits. I hope the world some day would show me some surprise.
    take care
    Ziyao

  • Daniel Otero

    posted by  in China forum 

    Society is changing and it will get better. In 20 years Chinese education to reform, I believe, which is needed and children will feel freer to study what they want. There will not be so much social pressures, which right now you are still forced under.

    And looking back on your history, many men like Sun Tzu, Lao Tsu and Conficius made great contributions to Chinese society and the world. All China has to do-again-is implement the above systems of education and writng back into education.

    Take care,

    Sincerely,

    Daniel

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