Posted in Germany forum
Many of my foreign friends who live in Germany complain that Germans are very rude - or at least unfriendly.
Obviously, as a German myself I don't really experience us that way. But I would like your opinion: Are we really as cold as some people say????
easy question
posted by T Y in Germany forum
@ John
you wrote: "Furthermore can anybody explain to why being an Auslaender/ foreigner carries such a negative stigma in Germany?
What is wrong with that in the first place?"I'm pretty sure you know the answer. Germans firmly believe Germany is the best country, superior to other nations, thus anyone from outside Germany, Ausländer must be inferior. lol Germans either look down on them or pity them.
very often, conversations with Germans are based on their conviction that Germany is better than our countries, so our opinions and feelings are irrelevant. it's all about their German way being better than ours. the notion of being just different but equal is not acceptable, one must be better than the other. this is the reason why Germans are defending their "rare" manners rather than reflecting on what could make everyone's life a little easier and more pleasant.
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posted by John Lovejoy in Germany forum
@Cathrin Miller
Of course it’s not everybody, that’s a given and would be a blanket condemnation to even imply that, not that anybody here did that.
I also know some wonderful German people, easy to get along with, just lovely.
Unfortunately it’s not the mainstream culture.In defense of the culture, many Germans are also very rude and snooty to one another, it's quite normal here, so thus I surmise they aren’t even aware of it.
And people from somewhere else aren’t used to being barked , sneered or starred at for no apparent reason.Not so
posted by John Lovejoy in Germany forum
@eject it
Has nothing to with the papers or dual citizenships but with appearance, ethnicity.
They don’t check your papers at the grocery store or any other day to day activities and interactions.
Rule of thumb: the darker your skin or the more “exotic” your appearance the less relevant your German citizenship, even if you where born there.Furthermore can anybody explain to why being an Auslaender/ foreigner carries such a negative stigma in Germany?
What is wrong with that in the first place?Why is Auslaender/ Forigner on par with undesirable, untrustworthy or less worthy human-being in Deutschland.
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posted by Deleted user in Germany forum
I know both. Some are rude some are not rude.
But I just mean that they would not be more friendly when they saw a other country. Some do not saw a other country and are friendly, other people saw a other country and are still the same rude person. Some people would impress a other country, but I do not think that we have to put them in a other country and than they would not be rude. Sorry the idea would not help the Geman people which are rude....
posted by John Lovejoy in Germany forum
@Cathrin Miller
“Nice” is a broad description and can mean many things. Actually poor wording sans context.
The issue is rude for no apparent reason and often taking pleasure in it too. ( even more bizarre).
How about not being rude and or arrogant toward others?
Basic manners, basic social skills, what is so difficult about that?
It’s peculiar behavior frequently encountered in Germany more than in any other western nation.For those trying to spin this into directness, that's white wash.
Direct and rude are two completely different things thou not mutually exclusive.Even 2nd 3rd third generation “Germans” are frequently referred to as Auslaender.
Thus all the immigration issues in Germany.
Integration goes both ways.
You can’t blame the newcomers after they have been made to feel unwelcome....
posted by Deleted user in Germany forum
I do not think that germans learn to be nice when they were ouside of Germany. I think some are nice and some are not so nice. I do not know if you can call this rude. I have meet both types of Germany and I do not know which I prefer. But I also never call as a "Auslaender" from them. I know how to handle them and therefore know one gets hurts
absolutely not insincere
posted by T Y in Germany forum
yeah I totally agree. ESPECIALLY when you don't know the person, why be so grumpy and rude? lol if you don't like the person, sure, we can all be jerks. but I don't know what I have done to so many Germans to make them so grumpy.
and what's the harm in saying "thank you," "please," or "sorry" ??? if being civilized, polite and considerate means insincere and phony, then I'd rather be an insincere phony Scheißausländer than "honest" and rude just to fit in.
I guess misunderstanding applies both ways. I know North Americans are not insincere at all when they smile and they are simply genuinely being nice to others. what's the harm in doing so? the problem is, it almost never happens among Germans. the easiest way for the Germans to process that is to call it insincere.
by the same token, when Germans seem rude and extremely insensitive, it's simply that's the way they are, naturally. it's hard to figure out the necessity in being mean to others, but that's the comfort zone many Germans share.
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posted by John Lovejoy in Germany forum
@ T.Y.
Good point, I have noticed that too.
I think that those who spend time outside of Germany around other people regularly, invariable pick up better manners naturally.
That crappy arrogant attitude doesn’t fly outside of Germany.Americans being so called friendly is not insincere but just normal.
What reason could you possibly have to be rude to a person you don’t even know.
What would be the point of that?rude Germans in Germany or abroad?
posted by T Y in Germany forum
from my experience, Germans I met outside Germany are very friendly and respectful. they are very careful with the words they choose so that they wouldn't offend others. kudos to them!
but some of the Germans in Germany are.... you know.
I would take so called phony Anglo-Saxon friendliness and insincere smiles over German brutally honest rudeness and random insensitive comments any day. there's no need to be rude to any stranger, period.
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posted by John Lovejoy in Germany forum
As far as behavior or manners go, race/ continent origin of is largely irrelevant.
Because humans tend to be products of their environment.
Example: children raised in a loving and open-minded environment are more likely to be friendly and an open minded.
Whereas Children raised in a rude and less open-minded environment are more likely to also be like that when they grow up, treat others like that too and think of it as perfectly normal, because they don’t know any different.Although, I do believe that all people no matter from which environment they hail from also have an independent moral compass and sense of right and wrong unique to them.
That's why you should never throw anybody away no matter what, because we humans have such an enormous learning capacity.
That of course does require opening your mind.“ Do with a person what you must, but never shut anybody out of your heart”