Posted in Germany forum
I'm hearing lots of terrible stories about German men and their lack of romance. Is this true? Anybody got any "real-life experience"? :-)
Money-a long-winded response :)
posted by A. Barber in Germany forum
Your english is great. I understood your response perfectly.
I can agree that sometimes money plays a role in in the happiness of people's lives and I understand the money is only paper, but it's value has caused many wars.
For me, my most memorable or best moments vary. Some include money (my first car, working two jobs to finance for my education, my first pay raise-woohoo!) and others include more personal moments (new love, accomplishing a hiking goal, drowning my sorrows with friends at a local bar-lol). It is a case by case matter. Many people do not believe in the notion of love and even during these times marry for money, status, or stability (especially where children are involved), however their happines is their determination and no one else's.
I agree that a realtionship must be equal but the scales of measurement always, in my opinion, differ in each situation. For instance: a woman (or man) chooses to remain at home for the sake of the family while one person supports the family; or,
one spouse supports the other so the he/she can return to school to further their education; one falls ill..the list can go on. There are so many instances where the flow of cash can, unwillingly, dictate a relationship. It is very rare that many couples earn the same amount of money. Although the person earning less need not look to the other as a bank, the higher earning person will, willing or willingly, become the bank.
To put my opinion in perspective, I work for a judge and a majority of our case load is dealing with divorces, custody disputes, legal seperations, and, annulments. So, although we may value our own positions and feel we have things figured out, I feell, we never really know who we are until those values must be applied. These times come at very pivotal moments in our lives and only then, do we find out who we truely are. I think it is easy to assess someone else's situation because we lose nothing in the assessment. We can express ouropinion on the matter by telling them how feel about what they are doing or by dictating what we believe is right or wrong without compromising ourselves.
The point I am trying to make is everyone rates themselves using their own personal scale (most of the time). To expect other's to live their lives by your scale (your values, what you believe is right or wrong) can become troublesome.
@ Nita
posted by Lucy T. in Germany forum
well Nita I think they re so frustrated cause they were cheatted on,also most of the times is because the guys were not interested at all and they kept insisting or the women wanted to have a finantial supporter instead of a husband or bf so OBVIOUSLY that didnt work.but theres a lil bit of everything...remember after all they re men,hehehe.no matter the hometown.lol!my fiancee,so far, is the awesomest person i could ever met and we re absolutely happy with each other :)
GERMAN MEN!
posted by NITA 9300 in Germany forum
A. Barber ,
I too a Black American woman and find myself interested in a German guy. We are not involved but we do have great interaction together. He is a very warm and intelligent guy. I love his accent too. My toes curl when he speaks. I'm shy so he would never know this. Ha
What I've noticed about German men is that, if they are not responding to you or treating you well, it's because they don't really want you. German men are by far the most likely out of any group of men to not string you along because they are too busy trying to get what they really want. In the cases I have seen. Clearly not true for all but from my limited experience.
Why do you think your relationship is great and other women's are so frustrating?
Sometimes
posted by Deleted user in Germany forum
Sometimes, money is important, but only sometimes, the best things of your life you can not buy. It is normal, when you move to other country, you need help from your man, even economical help, but that is not a reason for marry. In a equal relationship you need not a man as a bank.
When you remenber the best moments of your life, Is there money?? or maybe you remenber the time with your friends or family??Money is only paper, sorry I have not a good english.
hmmmm
posted by A. Barber in Germany forum
Because I am monolingual (temporarily, I swear :), I have been utlizing 'google translator' to understand many of the comments in spanish. So, forgive me if I have interpreted something incorrectly.
I wanted to respond to a few of the notions regarding a foreigner moving to Europe. I have made the move to Europe specifically on behalf of my boyfriend. Although I am not destitute I am relying on him for some financial support. I am removed (physically) from family and friends and have decided to force myself to assimilate into a new culture to challenge myself both culturally and intellectually. In addition I need to determine how probable a future is with my new squeeze (blending two cultures is not an easy thing). With that I want to say that although moving to a new country,for whatever reason, may seem superficial to others, that we understand everyone (in some sense) does come from the same cloth (humanity) which unites us but the choices we make and paths we take are what creates the differences among us.
In most instances, I believe that what you give, is what you get. Although I feel that money cannot buy me everything it may be all that someone else needs.
Forgive me if I have misunderstood the argument.Personalmente me da igual
posted by Deleted user in Germany forum
Pues eso que personalmente me da igual cual es la motivacion de cada una para casarse con un hombre, si una mujer tiene una situacion economica mala y su unica salida es venderse, vamos a llamar a las cosas por su nombre, pues vale, no es asunto mio, pero de ahi a decir que todas estamos cortadas por la misma tijera, lo siento pero no estoy deacuerdo ni de lejos, es una generalizacion demasiado grande.
Quizas hace 50 años las mujeres elegian a sus posibles parejas basandose en motivos economicos o de posicion social, hoy en dia ambos factores no son determinantes puesto que partes de los mismos estandares y por tanto el status te lo puedes conseguir tu sola.
En cuanto a lo de "conseguir bienestar en europa", bueno no sabria que decir, europa no es la panacea y muchas mujeres que vienen super enamoradas las pasan putas aqui, a fin de cuentas el "bienestar" no es solo dinero o una gran casa, es la familia, el apoyo social, los amigos, la cultura propia y el respeto de tu pareja. Lo demas es solo dinero y como dicen por mi tierra "el dinero es solo papel", vale mas una hora de tu vida con tus amigos al solecito con una cañita haciendo bromas, que tener un mercedes aparcado en la puerta. Europa, que dicho asi parece algo, es un sitio duro para vivir si no tienes apoyo, y una mujer que llega sola aqui, tan lejos de su familia y amigos, suele pasarlo mal hasta que se adapta, ya puede tu pareja proporcionarte una vida de lujo, que las cosas mas importantes de la vida no las compra el dinero.
@Julia Nanana
posted by patrick eso in Germany forum
truth is bitter,it is better be told that humanity can effect changes.Most people was growing up with different idealogical background of sterotyping, being too proud out of nothing,too much pretending to have all the right answers, mistake is not part of human being, what do you call that.I am a good listner and study people before I say anything.This world is free for open critic, this why have good democracy.I d´nt pretend because I am not perfect human.I am not stiff either, I rather engage people with opposite ideaology.I watch documantry but, I still Have some reservations in certain issues.I hate brain washing types, or" clihy denken".for me there are peverts.The need to visit outside their country ,atleast spend one year in another country just understand the basic things of life.By the time they are back to base the will start to diminish their nationalism philosophy.Take it or leave it.
hey
posted by Lucy T. in Germany forum
cuando mejores tu ortografía quizá puedas entablar un dialogo coherente.
jajajajajaja cuantos años tienes 17 , 22???
posted by Deleted user in Germany forum
ja ja jaj ajajajajaja !! ¿cuantos años tienes 17 , 22 ? eres divertida!! cuando tu gateabas yo me abria paso por la vida. y sobre la economia de suramerica y chile no me digas esos cuentos de adas por favor. ayer le mostre tus comentarios a mi marido y aún esta muerto de la risa, dijo que prefirió una mujer sincera interesada que una mujer honrrada falsa ...de esas que dicen no tener intereses secundarios sobre un hombre. pero en fin fue un placer conversar contigo, se nota tu "buena educacion y tolerancia" por lo que escribes , y la verdad no me interesa saber de tu vida, estos foros no tienen cabida discusiones personales, así que voy a respetar este foro, y a los otros miembros de la comunidad..
hasta luegoufff
posted by Lucy T. in Germany forum
No se como estara la situacion en tu país,me imagino que muy mala por lo que cuentas,pero aca con estudios superiores y esfuerzo puedes llegar a tener una excelente situacion economica igual o incluso mejor que en Europa,Alemania no es un eden,es un pais con pobreza,clase media y clase alta como en todas partes,donde si no aprendes el idioma y te esfuerzas por integrarte pasas a ser un mantenido del paro,el eslabón mas bajo de la sociedad germana,tengo amigas chilenas de muy buena situación que incluso vienen de familias mas adineradas que las de sus propios novios/maridos,una cosa es la crisis y otra es la flojera pura,por si no lo sabias,las mujeres educadas con altura de miras y un buen pasar no necesitan un marido de una nacionalidad especifica para seguir tener una vida cómoda,nos podemos mantener solitas,a mi nadie me vino a regalar nada,y estoy orgullosa de lo que he llegado a lograr en la vida por la misma razón,mi novio es de clase media no es ningún adinerado,y los dos mantenemos un hogar,los dos trabajamos duro para tener lo que tenemos hoy en día, aquí nadie mantiene a nadie,necesitas un compañero de vida que te ame y respete,no un alemán,chino,sueco,chileno,colombiano,etc que barra el piso contigo y te deje en casa como un adorno mas,ademas si no aprendes el idioma del país que mas esperas ser??
pero si esperas que las cosas te lleguen en bandeja sin hacer el minimo esfuerzo te aseguro que en Sudamérica o en la china te mueres de hambre, no creo que sea muy lindo vivir del paro por flojera o por un matrimonio mas falso que judas,y si tuviste una mala experiencia cazando maridos lo siento mucho...nosotros estamos enamoradisimos y muy felices como muchas parejas de distintas nacionalidades que aun creemos en el amor =) y nos conocimos cursando un postgrado que pague de mi bolsillo =)