Posted in Spain forum
I know that's an old discussion and full of stereotypes - but I just have to share my experiences!
I've been in Madrid recently (only for one week to search a room for my upcoming internship) and therefore came across the Spanish guys.
I already heard some stories of Spanish being very "open" towards people (especially girls), but I didn't think there were THAT open! When you're walking down the street some of them yell at you, and in clubs it's even worse! In some cases it's hard to get rid of them!
Of course, you can find that kind of guys in Germany too, but not in that extent!
I think their behavior is just part of the Spanish mentality.
What experience did you make as a girl here in Spain? (boys are also welcome to give their opinion...especially Spanish ones ;-))
Deleted user
Location, location.
posted by Deleted user in Spain forum
Go to San Sebastian! Some of the best-looking beach hotties I've ever seen in my LIFE surf at La Concha.
Not just at women...
posted by Sambo Paul in Spain forum
Hey,
A litle bit trivial but a good current topic Julia, and as tedious as this hole goggling thing may be I now find myself being a bit annoyed actually.
I'm also on an internship here for a couple of weeks now. I'm Dutch, but partially armenian and Surinamese, I'm a bit talll normally built. Here in Spain women have several times given me things for free and people in general treat me as though I'm really special, people goggle at me openly and seriously, when I walk into a room sometimes everything stops. Luckily without my clothes on it´s much less; I never, ever, work out.
I really don't care about my appearance and have begun letting my beard grow and wearing caps everywhere I go, this region Andalucia, people just seems to be obsessed with body images.
I think here in Spain people have a culture of living outside, they haven't seen as many blonds and brown tall men as have done people in the Netherlands. Moreover, I think they see giving attention in this manner as a good thing because they have somewhat traditional views in their head.
However, in my opinion no matter what a person looks like they should be treated equally and giving a person consistant attention in this manner is therefore wrong, not only is it demeaning for women, it also explains to me why some of my dearest African friends that went on exchange here came back hating the latino culture.
I couldn't possibly judge the whole region or country , but do feel the need to say it is a disappointment in the sense that I thought Spain in general was a bit more developed.
What?!
posted by Lynda Powell in Spain forum
Angela your bossy subject title and narrow minded comments, serve only to tar well meaning intelligent Americans with the brush intended solely for you.
Oh, yeah, and a brief How-To on rejecting Spanish men.
posted by Deleted user in Spain forum
I was unaware of this until a really drunk guy tried to make out with the side of my face, but if you're a foreign woman it often takes a stronger approach to telling Spanish men you're not interested. Spanish women tend to flirt quite a lot, so 'No' usually means an optimistic 'Maybe'. (I actually know a number of UK and USA men who were 'rejected' by Spanish women because they just took No for an answer!)
While I was in Spain, I learned that in order to get it across that you're not interested -- especially in a club setting -- you insult them, tell them to f*** off, call them 'maricon' (gay) which is an accepted practice as I was surprised to learn, or even go as far as to push or slap them if they're being really annoying. A guy in a club in Madrid grabbed my arm as I was going to the ladies' room and it took me jabbing him in the ribs before he got the point.
But once they understand that you're not just being fiery and coy, they take the hint and go on their way. Moral of the story: Ladies, BE FEARLESS!
my 2 cents
posted by Deleted user in Spain forum
My fiance is half Basque, half Spanish. We spent three months in Spain over the summer, and given that I'm a 5'7"/lean blue-eyed light-skinned foreigner, I got more attention than I'm used to back home. While I didn't so much appreciate the guy yelling "NICE ASS" at me while I was biking, that was sincerely the worst of it. I get that Stateside, too, so it's not like it was a huge shocker for us. Still, it only happened once in three months which is a lot more respectable than any of our college towns in the US. Other than that, I got the standard 'Guapa! Guapa!' in the streets or the occasional 'Preciosa!'. They smile, call you Pretty or Beautiful, and leave you alone. It's great!
What I've learned is that there are a few different 'categories' (here's with the generalizations again) of Spanish men, just like anywhere else. The chulos -- or machos -- whatever you prefer -- tend to be rather obnoxious. I think of them as the bros of the Hispanic world, haha. They wear bad shirts, travel in groups, and have identical hair.
But generally, I've found Spanish men to be extremely polite and respectful of women. They appreciate women for being women -- regardless of their measurements or hair color. They don't seem to have some of the neuroses surrounding female attractiveness that American men have -- in the States, often if you're not a certain height/weight proportion, forget about it! I tend to err on the thin side thanks to my genetically-induced metabolism, and while I've had American men give me nonsense about it, I still got an overwhelmingly positive response from Spanish men on the street. I tried to explain this to my American girlfriends back home, but it seems like they can't comprehend the fact that it's possible that they just love -WOMEN-. Of all kinds. Period.
Spanish people generally are a lot more direct and aggressive than what most Americans or Nordics are used to. They talk loud (which drove me nuts as I come from a very quiet Old South family), if they think you're sexy then they're all over you, and if they want to be with you -- well, I have yet to see any better culturally equipped for courtship. Basques especially seem to be really family-oriented, but I'll definitely say that I saw more Spanish and Basque fathers out in parks with their children -- and having a damned good time of things, too! -- than I've seen here.
The temper -does- exist, but I've found that this is largely a proponent of just how much they care about things. Spanish men tend to invest a lot, and so if they feel like they're being taken advantage of then of course they'll make their malcontent known. Combine this with the culturally-loud factor and you've got a whole plethora of possible misunderstandings!
I'd love to hear anyone else's take on this stuff!
The staring thing definitely freaked me out for the first month or so. I walked around feeling like I must've had something on my face, or maybe I sat in paint, or something. Then I realized that it's a two-way street. Yeah, Spanish people stare -- not just the men. If you'll pay attention, the women do it, too! I once timed a woman at a metro station, and she sat there and stared at me for a solid 13 minutes. But the thing about it is that you can stare BACK. And once you get past feeling like a royal creep for it, it's actually rather entertaining!
loool
posted by Filipe Junqueira Stauffer in Spain forum
that's funny. I mean I've got spanish,portuguese and italian backgrounds and I need to say that you're right... most of my spanish cousins act this way when they see a pretty woman...
for me it's kind of inappropriate and in Brazil most man do the same and talk to woman like they are a piece of meat... lol
I can't tell the diference if I look to an average portuguese, italian and spanish guy,
can you ? lolIf you can explain to me lol
Cultural differences
posted by Guillermo de la Puerta in Spain forum
Hello Julia
There are some cultural differences that need to be explained.
Usually we speak very loud as if we were yelling and in bars we shout even more, not just to women, but also among ourselfs, that's a thing that surprises many foreign people.Sometimes we speak as if we were getting angry but we are not. It's only spanish character. Saying compliments to the ladies as they walk in the street is getting old fashioned now but never the less is considered normal. I have friends that still do it.
Another difference, in Spain there is no such strong privacy like in nordic countries not to say in the U.S. Here everyone looks at you and you look to everyone and sometimes if a guy likes you he stares at you to such a limit that in other countries would be labelled as rude and unpolite.But to some extent is normal.
Enjoy your stay in SpainInteresting
posted by Deleted user in Spain forum
Hablar English?
Me gusta aprender espánol .....pero temprano. Jajajajaj
ciaoSpanish men
posted by Deleted user in Spain forum
I have had two brief encounters with two different Spanish men over the past year and they have spoilt me!!!! They are SO attentive and sey and demanding ...but in a good way. One I met in August in France and we chat every day...very exciting and passionate. Am learning Spanish now!!!
Don't understand the jajaja thing though...is that a laugh??