Switzerland forum < Why is it so hard to make friends in Switzerland??

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    no obligation to be friendly

    posted by  canuck s in Switzerland forum 

    Ok, so now it's been mentioned that the swiss shouldn't feel obligated to be friendly. But why not? Wouldn't the world be much nicer if people were nice to each other and gave each other a genuine smile instead of the customary and in my opinion ingenuine "gruezi"? I'll give you all a concrete example of a situation that happened to me just last winter. The post lady buzzed (I live on the third story) and called me down to sign for the mail. I told her through the intercome "chumme grad" ad buzzed her in, in case she wanted a few minutes respite from the cold. No bad intentions, it is in my (canadian) nature to be friendly, it' what we do in Canada too. Once at the bottom she started reeming me out that she was not a delivery service (?ok...) and wasn't going to walk up the stairs. I explained I was just trying to be nice and wanted to give her the chance to warm up if need be. Oh, it's not that cold out, she snarked, (cold being a matter of personal persepective...and i see many Swiss complaining when it's minus 5) that's just an excuse you lazy foreigner. So she was not ONLY being xenophobic but also blatantly racist. Keep in mind there is a fine line and it's pretty easy to jump from xenophobia to racism. I told her again I was just trying to be nice, but she obviously didn't believe me. I've been here 5 years now, I think I pretty well know that I have to go downstais to get the mail. I am not an idiot, I speak both languages, high german and swiss german, and I told her in her own god damn language that i would be right down. This is just an example, a stupid trivial one, but nonetheless. Now you say the (Post) man is not obligated to be friendly, but wouldn't it have been easier for her to say in a kind tone no that's ok, i didn't need to warm up? But no, Swiss people are rude and prejudiced and always see the bad in foreigners. The Gemeinde even once told me that Canada "sollte sich anpassen" to Switzerland because Switzerland has the larger population.......now if you don't see the error in his statement, you are beyond help. We could also talk about train boarding ettiquette, Swiss are so damn afraid the train is gonna take off without them they have to push to the front, I take a step back to allow the lady with the baby carriage through, only to get stepped over by 4 other people. Seriously, maybe Canadians are TOO nice, but the Swiss don't have to consistenly be such a bunch of inconsiderate asshole. BUt that has nothing to do with making friends, so I digress.

    In closing I'd rather have a few superficial friends that I could go to coffee with and at least have a chat than waiting 10 years for my friend for life. I hope I can make it out of there by that time, anyone who would like to donate to the cause feel free. I've met tons of people here, but they are all too busy with their own village clique and are unwilling to invest in new friendships and aren't willing to travel more than 5 minutes to meet someone. Close minded village attitude. You can say what you want, but it's the truth. Isn't that why the Swiss even call themselves "die klein karrierte Schweiz"?

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