• Laurie Perkins

    GM

    Postado por  Laurie Perkins em Alemanha forum 

    It is not "you" against the "Germans" But it sounds that way. The hang up is that you are very "American" and they are very "German". You are expecting them to react to you as others would react to you in the US. it is not going to happen.

    It is noble that you gave up your life here in the US for your wife and it is bad that you have health issues now. But I think the way it comes across is.....after all I gave my great country, the "US", where I am sure I could find a great job, and now that I'm in Germany I am sick (implying to some degree that your health is bad because you live in Germany and your lifestyle is less than it was when you lived in the US) Your comments "talk down". I am by no means saying that you shouldn't be a little disappointed that others don't see or appreciate what you have done.

    German's in "general" are direct and blunt. They don't see it as being rude, they see it as being direct and honest. Americans are all about "feelings" and not hurting anyone. We in general will respond with much thought to how our reply will be taken and because we "American" are so concern about our response we often "sugar coat" or not exactly say it like it is. Not because we are liars but because don't want to offend. Do you see the "clash" You are expecting an American response from Germans and is not going to happen.

    I have spent countless hours in conversations with Germans. I don't live there, have been there a couple of times. I am not going to say that all those conversation were perfect. Some of them offended me, because of how the Americans are viewed. However, I allowed those speaking to me to have their thoughts and kept in mind as they spoke that they were being direct and to the point not to hurt me but to express their views. I didn't take it personally. I agreed with them on some points and I reminded them also that every country has its problems. I personally did not care to list what I thought was wrong with Germany. I simply allowed them to speak their minds and try to see how they would come to this or that conclusion. Then by simply being myself, they learned (by themselves) that perhaps "not" all Americans were as they perceived.

    There are many things to praise the Germans about and if the Germans came here to visit they would have many nice things to say about the US. Germans "in general" don't know exactly how Americans think....they get information from the media and movies... stereotypical things...just like when you turn on the history channel here and all "we Americans" see is history on the WW!! and Hitler. When I was visiting Germany I had my friend take me to one of the old cemeteries and viewed many of the young soldiers that lost their lives in the horrible war. We stood together hand and hand.... an American and a German and laughed because if we had known each other in the 40's we would have been considered enemies.

    Now I may be an odd bird but I view all mankind as precious regardless of their geographical location. I see also that each country and/or their culture has something to offer "but after all I am an American living in the US in a huge salad bowl surrounded with every kind of culture differences imaginable. It works here, because we are "taught" early on to be tolerant of others. That we are free to think and do as we like. "An everything goes" mentality.

    GM be an American and keep your mind open. Use the tolerance that you were brought up with. Don't try to argue yourself into their grace....won't happen! Time will take care of most of your problems. Accept the criticism by simply listening and use your American smile as your response. Allow them to be proud of their country and share with you what makes them special. It is really interesting to hear what they think and most of them will share this with you. Germany has come a long way over the years and survived a lot. They are generally hardworking, loyal, honest people.......Give it a try and take a step back

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