• Laurie Perkins

    any Nation

    Aufgegeben von  Laurie Perkins in Deutschland Forum  

    I haven't been a part of this thread in a very long time. But I wanted to explain to Big D. You are absolutely right when you say that when someone comes to a country they should accept it for what it is or please leave it. I am an American and I have had my belly full of those who come to the US who refuse to learn the language and then stand with their hands out wanting special treatment. And certainly no matter where you go you will encounter people who are rude and disrespectful. So I agree completely with your sentiments.

    However, I think this thread has a lot to do with people trying to adjust to a new culture that perhaps is a bit different in its social behavior. I have many wonderful, beautiful and loving German friends and for sure they are not rude to me or to anyone. However, when I visited Germany on two different occasions I did see the cultural difference among strangers. In general Germans do not greet a passer by with a smile when their eyes meet. Because I am an American and I come from a country where in general when you pass someone, even if you don't know them, and your eyes meet, then you smile politely. Perhaps for us, it is just to ease the tension...I think it is in a way our social tradition and it conveys a sense that the person has nothing against you or you can feel safe..I am really not sure exactly what the feeling is. It is just part of our culture. It is not part of Germany's and that is perfectly OK. But it is an adjustment for those coming from a country such as the US where a smile to a stranger is a social norm.

    I have had several conversation with my German friends about this subject. Only because it is different from the way I was raised. And to someone who is raised to smile and be friendly to all, whether you know them or not, it takes a while to adjust to another culture that views it different.

    In the next couple months I will be moving to Germany. It is a beautiful country and the lack of smiles have not detoured me from my desire to want to leave there. But I have some adjustments to get use to. The best thing that anyone can do to understand someone else's culture and country, if they are truly interested in understanding and accepting, is to read and to ask others of that culture how they feel about certain things or why they do certain things. Most people become offended by something because they simply don't understand something, or they take something personally that is not meant to be taken personally, such a smile that is not returned.

    Thank you for your imput. I enjoyed your thoughts on the matter. :-)

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