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How to treat a German woman the right way...

Posted in Germany forum

To me that's a really difficult question! It's always a bit harder to date somebody of another culture, but with German girls I just don't get along!
I know the 'traditional' dating rules, for example the guy has to pay everything - but in Germany I heard that some girls get offended by this because their independence is questioned.
Whatever you do, you do it wrong!

What did you experience? Girls are also welcome to join this discussion!

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  • Martin Mzmann

    posted by  in Germany forum 

    Hello Fernando,

    I am glad you made this point: people who either simply ignore other customs/expectations/codes of conduct (through lack of knowledge, or even lack of interest in other countries customs) or they deliberately break codes.

    To be honest, I though I might be just getting a bit old, but I have also noticed those behaviours. It appears to me as if some basic behavioural rules are negelected in more and more homes with children these days. Hence children do no longer learn to "respect others". I think we as a society are about to lose some basic rules of living together in peace. I will certainly miss those .... :-(

    Regarding Miras comment: I agree, I understood it just like you suggested. ;-) Take it as "advertising for the German ladies". And we do have really good one's! :-)

    All the best

    M.

  • Chase Ellison

    posted by  in Germany forum 

    Well, I will join Mira in stating that German women are wonderful. I'm glad Martin mentioned the cultural differences. This is precisely why I asked my question. Its not necessarily randomly flirting with people.. I do actually know someone but I was not sure if it is taboo on how you meet someone. While we are on the subject of cultural differences.

    Would someone like to fill my buddy Fernando and I in with specific German and European cultural differences that we may miss out on as it relates to dating? I suppose that is a better way of wording our questions.

  • posted by  in Germany forum 

    Hi Martin,
    yes I think you're absolutely right with the issue of religious/historic background.
    Of course you have to adapt to the "codes" in a certain country, or you'll just make life harder for you there...that's at least what I think. Still there are lots of persons breaking theses codes on purpose to make themselves seem interesting or something...I don't know why.

    @Mira: Is it just me or did you just make a COMPLIMENT to yourself? ;)) hehe

  • Martin Mzmann

    posted by  in Germany forum 

    Hello,

    just bear in mind that for instance Arabic (or Muslim) countries again have a completely different point of view. Seen from this perspective it very often is a religious (or just historic) background that drives nowadays expectations and written or unwritten laws of behaviour.

    May be that is one of the things I am missing nowadays - and I do not mean you personally: the attempt to understand and respect other people's habits, customs and expectations. Such as "When in Rome, do like the Romans do." Something like that. I know that this is not easy... :-)

    All the best and much luck for you public dates

    M.

  • Dating

    posted by Deleted user in Germany forum 

    @Chase: Sorry if I couldn't express myself in English, I usually wanted to refer that sentence to you ;)

    And I think Mira is right...but still I find it really strange that there's such a huge difference between some countries. As in Mexico for example, you'll find quite a lot guys piping after girls in public. Of course for most of the girls that's just annoying, but it's nothing what other people would care about.

  • Chase Ellison

    Dating

    posted by  Chase Ellison in Germany forum 

    It is nice to hear that you're smart enough not to use that pickup line.

    Lack of taboo is often a refreshing thing.. In many places generally in the south and mid-west of the United States there is often an expected old style course that is followed.. And leaving that course is often frowned a pn.. Also, in the states we are pretty prude..ish So being approached by someone and being flirted with in public is frightening to many.

  • posted by  in Germany forum 

    I think you'd better say "You're smart enough not to use that" ;)

    In my experience, that taboo does not apply in Germany. I don't think German people would even care, if you met a person in a public place and start flirting with her...but that's only what I can say.
    But I also never heard of this taboo...why is this so "strict" in the states??

  • Chase Ellison

    posted by  in Germany forum 

    Thank you for all of the input and for asking the question! This topic is something I've been debating about for quite sometime.
    I hope it is not brash for me to hope in and join Fernando in asking a question or two. I've noticed it to be taboo in some parts of the states to approach a random woman (I suppose random is not the correct term but I am not aware on how else to phrase some you've not met yet!); flirt with her and attempt to attain a first date in public areas, such as airports, train stations, and so on. Does that taboo apply in Germany?

    Fernando, I've also never used a pickup line like that.. I suppose I am not suave enough to use pick that. haha

  • posted by  in Germany forum 

    No way xD And how did you react? And did you go out with that guy again? hehe
    Well, I'm a young single guy, I don't expect my next date to be the woman I'll share my whole life with! ;)
    Don't get me wrong, I don't have like 5 dates at one weekend only! I'm not that bad! :P (I already mentioned this, didn't I?!)

  • posted by  in Germany forum 

    Ahh, thanks for that advice, Mira, I have to bear that in mind on my next dates! ;)
    Yes I know, it's a fine line between getting a girl to like you and making her to think of you as a real macho!
    By the way, sentences like "I see my unborn children in your eyes" would (thankfully) never come to my mind xD
    Did you really date some guys making such "compliments" to you?!?

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