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    romanticism...

    pubblicato da  L. A. in Germania forum  

    I can't say whether most of german men are romantic or not, haven't met that many in my young life but all I can say is that the german men I've known and the ones i've been in a sort of relationship with have, for sure, a sweet personality behind their apparence.
    Maybe to a woman like me it might be a little bit hard to reach their inner side, either because they are just uninterested in having you that close or because they have a wall all around them which is difficult to cross... but we can say this it's common to 80% of human population, can't we?

    When it comes to romanticism though I can clearly recall 2 german acquaintances of mine, a nice couple, arguing about Valentine's day.
    He was very excited at the idea of celebrating it but she made clear in front of everyone that they weren't going to celebrate anything (her own words), he seemed quite disappointed and didn't reply back... I thought it was really nice of him wanting to do something with her in that day or just receive/give a present as a thought but, who knows why, she couldn't stand it and acted so harshly (for the sake of clarity I have to say she is generally a real sweetie pie).
    I myself am one of those people who don't celebrate Valentine's day but it's difficult not to be touched by your sweetheart if he expresses such a tender little and simple desire as celebrating Valentine's day, after all it's not such a big deal and if it makes him feel happy why not? And I've to admit it touched me a lot to see that "macho"and most of the time "cold guy" ask for that. It did indeed, so when I looked at his face, his gaze down at his shoes and in that silence, I couldn't help feeling sad, terribly sad for him.
    That moment is still stuck in my mind but probably it was more relevant to me than it was to him, maybe he, as a man, doesn't really care about what happened and neither remember it.

    The point is it might be that if some men are unable to show romanticism maybe it depends on the fact that in their lives they have never had the chance to show their deepest feelings (either with their own family/girlfriend or on a day everyone has officially an excuse to say and do silly, adolescent things, as in the case of my friend), so eventually these guys grow up as sweet persons with little ability to show their sweetness, let's not talk about being romantic.
    Sometimes people have just to learn how to show what they feel or they have to have the possibility to do it... and unfortunately sometimes other people, or society they are in, prevent them from it.
    Just my mere point of view, of course not the universal truth!

    Anyway it's not such a big deal if the guy is not a Romeo!
    The problem for women is to understand the german man they are talking to, the one who fits in the stereotype (and they -sigh- do exist).
    If you (as a woman) have been taught that a man shows interest through nice actions and words then of course you get quite confused by the guy who you are dating or simply trying to get close to if he barely says a nice word, make a compliment and treats you as much kindly as the other women.
    What I mean is that it can be discouraging and difficult for a woman to get closer to a man who is like a Sudoku and it's all up to you to make match the numbers in that friendship/relationship.

    Here on this forum we say that generally men from Germany are straightforward and when-if they say or do something they really mean it.
    Well, a part from the fact that it takes forever before they say or do something... let's not forget that men are men, they are out of the same mould so... if they say something deep either they are drunk or they are going to pretend they never did/ they don't remember/it was a slip of the tongue/ they were having one of their ups and downs moments. Ha, men! (just joking, don't get angry)

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