• Heather Noble

    Andreea Marie

    posted by  Heather Noble in Germany forum 

    Hey, I thought I'd write because you are the most recent post on here. I guess you two are young. Germans are late to marry and settle down. I think you're guy isn't that into you. Not because you aren't wonderful; because he's young. I wonder how old you two are. I think most German men get to a point, like women do much earlier, where they are tired of singles scene and bars. That's when they start really really being interested in a long term relationship. If you want his respect hon, you have to be strong, and state what you want, and tell him what you find confusing with his behavior. And if he doesn't respond in a way that makes you happy, you need to tell him exactly that and tell him you are looking for 'more.' I have found more than one German man is clueless about the inner emotional life of women. Because they don't experience emotion the way we do, they don't understand our needs and wants. So be clear and spell it out. If he cares, he will totally make the effort. If he doesn't, don't waste your time. For example, what direction did he want? Why is he cold? What does he expect you to do when he is withholding sex or emotion? No, he is not going to say the things you would expect; he doesn't even t think them. But you need to ask him,, preferably during an activity together, or after sex, what he sees for you guys down the road. that is the best indicator. You cannot expect him to be a woman or to be touchy feely. German men are barely in touch with their own emotions, but that doesn't mean they can't love deeply. The ones I have known have been absolutely devastated when their women leave them, maybe they don't say it, but they don't function well, and functioning is everything. I think communication about this, especially when there is a cultural barrier, is particularly important, and to be honest, German men appreciate some pointers, if they really want a girlfriend, partner or wife. Good luck, please report back in.

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